Clusters of
white daffodils have burst into bloom in my front yard this week, defying
weather that has delivered more snow flakes than sun breaks. Along the soggy
banks of my driveway, they summon memories of my mother--Goldie Mary Surmon
Scott. That’s Mrs. Scott to you.
I smile as I write her full
name because she unfurled it like a coat of arms: married name, birth name, and
a first name restricted to use by family. Even with family, she eschewed the
intimacies of “mama” or “nana.” She was “Mother” or “Grandmother” to us.
Growing up on the hardscrabble plains of
South Dakota, Goldie Mary Surmon learned early to respect the power of a name. When she stepped to the front of a country school classroom, barely out of her teens, the formality of “Miss Surmon” affirmed the
distance between a young teacher and her students.
A few years later, as a
married woman, “Mrs. Scott“ brought respect in the small Minnesota community
where Mr. Scott managed the power plant. And when he died in a work related
accident, “Mrs. Scott” safeguarded a young widow raising two children alone. “Mrs.
Scott” went back to the front of the classroom, teaching two generations of middle school
students to name the countries of a changing world while rejecting a name
change for herself.
By the time that “Mrs.”
fell out of style as a standard form of address I was a Mrs. myself. I rarely
used the title. First name casualness had pushed titles aside in a trend my
mother bucked for years. Pity the naïve former student, instilled now as the local
pharmacist or as head of the garden club, who greeted her brightly with “How ya’
doin’, Goldie?” Her answer came in a silent glower and a crisp straightening of
her spine.
It embarrassed me, then, this
rigid hold on formalities. I didn’t see it as a frame that supported the image
of a professional woman who had aged into the anonymity of life beyond husband,
child rearing, and career. Eventually, even that image faded as she softened into Goldie,
the woman with a yard full of flowers. Early daffodils elicited the admiration
of friends and neighbors, who lauded the roses that followed, and
exclaimed at the profusion of dahlias, day lilies and chrysanthemums that
cushioned the close of summer. A new identity bloomed in her garden.
When she died, I dug buckets of
daffodil bulbs from that garden and buried them in the clay soil of my yard where
they’ve blossomed for three years now. A tribute to Goldie Mary Surmon Scott. That's Mother to me.
A lovely post and tribute to a strong woman. Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteJennifer
This is so beautiful. A strong woman rears and loves another into womanhood. Goldie must have been quite a loving mother.
ReplyDeleteActually, Goldie wasn't an easy mother. Don't want to give that impression... she was strong, and determined, and often terrified. Sometimes that was challenging. Love expressed through fear can be hard for children to understand. But she wanted the best for us, and taught us a solid, feet-on-the-ground approach to life. I am most grateful.
ReplyDelete